the Beginning

So today I am in an acceptance phase of my LIFE! This life that I have played a major part in creating. It has my eyes hurting and my mind wondering "if I really look like I'm a dummy?"  I mean you people really have me mistaken for the last chick you messed with or the last person that you met that was brutally honest to you. I can careless about your hurt feelings....yes, I have a heart on my sleeve but its only there to remind me that TRUTH is GAME! So if you not honest with yourself first, PLEASE TAKE YOUR HALF ASS ATTEMPT AT BEING HONEST WITH ME BACK TO THE DRAWING BOARD! YOUR LINES ARE UNEVEN. In terms of acceptance… you find that what others think about you; goes completely out of the window and what you think of yourself is the only Absolute that you will encounter. It’s been 18mos and I am no further closer to where I need to be than the next man but I will tell you WHAT IS?

 I am done! Expecting my SUN to shine when I won’t let it! I am done trying to figure out why WE choose to let people tell us what beauty is or how we should feel about all things, I am done trying to figure out why I’m single when I would really rather be single then to take the burden of a man that simply wants to burden you up with his burden while he takes the harvest to the NEXT! Everybody wants to be a NESTA ...however no wants to bear his BURDEN, overstand?!  I am so tired of YOU worrying about what my hair is doing or why I choose to wear it a certain way...Really! I want all BLACK WOMEN to stop worrying about how long my hair is, how kinky is or is not, how come I keep cutting my hair, why won’t I let such an such twist it or any of the BULL CRAP yaw'll done came up with to justify how black YOU are! ITS HAIR...if you cut it, it'll grow back. If you straighten it, it will eventually curl back up, and if you when you wet it, it will eventually dry! GEEZ! Why are we so concern with the next! I can't STAY a way for you! Cause you refuse to embrace change. I not checking for none of yaw'll just in case you didn't know! I haven't checked for yaw’ll in more than 18 years to be exact...I stop checking for sides when I realized I didn’t have one. I have always been on the outside looking in that’s why I choose GOD! What I am, who I am, how you see me, what you see that you HATE is all GOD! Not me! So please stop trying to help me find something that you have yet to locate yourself! Please, stop trying to pull me back into your brainwashed concepts of what is good/bad, right/wrong...because I don’t need no help of no third party mediator helping to STAY OFF TRACK! (I do fine all on my own)Please wake up! I am not what you think I should be, nor am I ever going to be what you want me to be because this is it! I am already who GOD created me to be so sorry, I get bored fast so yeah, I don’t like to stay in the same place I move a lot, no I don’t attend Sunday school or church service every Sunday...my ministry is not inside a building with a name on it! What are you yapping about women getting to it! I want relationships in my Life based on LOVE not race, gender, class or status! Understand! I am a woman that seeks freedom! I shall not be bound by your expectations! If you find yourself offended or uneased about this post then YES...I've accomplished my goal! Now you know how many F&%KS I feel about your comments on how I live my life! YAY! Also...to the WOMEN WHO FEEL LIKE YOU HAVE TO HAVE HAIR TO GET A HUSBAND...let me tell you something. I've had "LONG" hair ALL MY LIFE! If hair was HONESTLY a requirement for being married…THEN I would have serious HISTORY by NOW! PEOPLE this is PRE-LUDE to be saying I'M BACK! I hope you got a box of tissue you’re gonna need'em!

Day 8


I used to wonder what G-d did on day 8...seeing how he completed everything on Day 7. I wonder if the days started over again? I sure hope so because I have never encountered people who are so hard up with themselves that they fail to realize that when you give, its giving back to you. So, to be exactly where I'm supposed to be, in the time and season I'm supposed to be, and have my AZZ handed to me over tea and bagels is not something I was expecting today. I was expecting greatness, the impossible-possible! I am looking to be swept off of my feet by the generous giving of those that have,to those that don't and all I have been getting is "you are out of your mind, people in Birmingham, AL. aren't going to support you" Okay, so I know I am not well liked, but who gives a fuck. If you refuse to help people who need help because you don't like ME, then they don't want your help anyway because it comes with conditions attached to it! Its kinda like getting engaged and your fiance gives you a prenup saying you'll get $1,000,000 upfront, and half every year y'all are together but yo begging ass momma,sisters, brothers and cuzzins can never come to the house" WTF?! YOU CAN KEEP THAT MESS! See, I don't do things because of who I like or don't like; if that were the case I would just not be seen at all. However, I learned a long time ago that this life is not about me therefore I have a duty to make sure I do everything in my power to benefit those in need. My intentions really could careless who's giving as long as I meet my goals and these young ladies have an opportunity to make their dreams come true that's it. But, when I sit in the company of men and women with the money, willing to give. BUT REFUSES TO HELP ANYONE OR ANYTHING THAT HAS TO DO WITH BIRMINGHAM,ALABAMA! Its makes me question everything. I have been on this Earth for five and thirty years, Birmingham has had the same run down reputation of being crabs in a bucket keeping each other down. I couldn't disagree with what was being said I could only nod in understanding and hope that they would see that vision! Not the place or people. but, you have been a victim of the unfair,jealousy feed treatment that is breeded in BIRMINGHAM,ALABAMA why would you want your money to benefit the progression the city. And yet, I ask why wouldn't you! The Lotus Project needs your help, we are accepting donations all this month. If you want to donate your donations are TAX-DEDUCTIBLE, statements and receipts are sent to your email upon the completion of the process. Don't allow the past to ruin what could possibly change the Future forever. To donate just follow the link below.

HEY YOUNG WORLD!!!

Hello People! How are you?! Hope everyone is enjoying who they are, where they are and how they are? Did that make sense?! Lol! Okay! It’s my Earthday! Exactly 35 years ago to the minute, I made a beautiful agreement with God to come into TIME and change the way things are done. I’m a Radical! I was sent to break traditions! This shell, as cute as it is, is just that a…shell. Hollow! I am the spirit that dwells inside the shell. I am not perfect, nor would I want to be however, my INTENT is pure and in Gods eyes that makes me PERFECT! Ten years ago, I was three years into a corporate job, preparing for a bright future of climbing the ladder of success. My dreams had become images that got me through the days and the thought of being where I am now was unimaginative. Do you know that your thoughts and dreams of yesterday will lead you right into your reality of today? Anyhow, back to it. So, I’m chilling at my mom’s house one day going through some old photo albums, when I came up on a picture of me at my birthday party…it was just family but it was me standing over a cake and my younger sister standing next to me. I began sharing with my son what I remembered about that day when my mother comes and says “That wasn’t your birthday that was Deaun’s Birthday”…I said, “No I remember that was my birthday!” After going back and forth with her for about a half hour, I laughed, told my son to kiss his grandmother, then left. When I got home I realized that my mother had just told me that one of the few good memory’s I had of my childhood was not real. I laughed even harder because I realized in that moment if that memory was not true then I’d been on this Earth for 25 years and had never had a Birthday party. I made the decision on that day, when my next Birthday came; I would celebrate God allowing me to be alive for a whole month. October 1, 2000, I coming around the corner by my house headed to Dee’s Package store, I turned the corner and drove up on a girl and her boyfriend fighting well, he was fighting…her, not so much! I started to get out the car when I notice the dude pop the trunk, toss two suitcases in the street, (WTF?! I am sure I said it loud!) get in the car and drive off. Really! Of course my reaction wasn’t as calm then but I didn’t know what to do. So, I did what I thought I would appreciate in that situation. I got her bags out the street and asked if she wanted me to call the police. She said “No” Thru a series of questions I found out that this young lady had recently relocated to Alabama to be with the BOY she was having it out with. She stated that a collection of events had led her to that moment and she just wanted to go home. “Where is home?” I asked.
“Detroit” she said. Instantly, I thought, shit…DETROIT!?! The response that came out of my mouth was OKAY!
I put her bags in my car, and took her to the bus station. The next bus to Detroit, Michigan was scheduled to leave in 45 mins. While I was standing in line about to pay for this ticket, I heard a voice singing “want you help me sing, these songs of freedom” It was only four years earlier that I was this young lady, scared to call my family and ask for help. “These songs of freedom” She got on the bus and went back home to her family, with two suitcases, a large order of Mongolian chicken with green onions from China Town and $492.00. The next year on my Birthday I got a card in the mail, no return address and on the back of the envelope was a question…DID YOU HELP A STRANGER, TODAY? My emotions were high, full of appreciation. Did I wake up expecting to help someone? NO! I woke up with every intention of going to work, getting me some Chinese food, and drinking me a six pack of Red Stripes when I got off. Instead I ended up helping changing someone’s life! I’ve been doing it every since one person and organization at a time.

I haven’t received my card this year, However, I am expecting once I finish this touring road trip, I see an envelope waiting on me with the question…
DID YOU HELP A STRANGER TODAY????


The Lotus Project is an initiative to connect at risk young ladies with proper mentors that will guide them back onto a path of positivity and Light! We are accepting donations (in person) any event where you see me FEEL FREE to ask me for the donation box or you can make a contribution online via a secured website!

IT's MY EARTHDAY!

Happy Earthday to me! Happy Earthday to me! Happy Earthday to meeee, Happy Earthday to me! So, I've been sitting in the waiting room of Jim Burke for the past hour(gotta get an oil change). When I arrived I noticed that things had changed, the entry for Chrysler customers is now the first entry, which is not a problem however, the waiting room for that side is very small. I checked in signed my paper work and asked if they had free WIFI, upon him advising that they did. I noticed that the waiting room was full, turning to asked if there was another waiting room, an OLDER Gentlemen says to me "well that's the waiting room, there's one on the other side but its for the SAAB drivers,(my face was priceless)I know that room is full but OUR SAAB customers have to have someone to sit" WTH!!! Are you CRAZY MAN!?! I looked at him and said REALLY!? Remembering that I am not my own and the words that come out of my mouth, has to have thoughts behind them I just walked off! I have been in this empty SAAB waiting room for the past hour or so! It's unfortunate that we still have these things going on, however, I wonder why? Why are whites still sitting on the left side and Blacks on the right side! Why hasn't racial conditions within the South changed? Why is it so hard for people to enter into rooms and speak? Why are we so afraid of the unknown? When are we going to overstand that GOD is neither white nor black nor brown nor pink nor red, neither female nor male, GOD JUST IS! GOD is the end to all and the all to end all. I feel its time to stop defining who you are by the shell you were blessed with and start getting to know that person on the INSIDE! That spirit that dwells inside of you is fighting to get out, it's fighting to reach the right people. Do you know that GOD intentionally created us the way he wanted, for a reason. Whats that reason? So that we can find ourselves in someone else. Its our similarities that brings us together but its our Differences that will move us forward! GREATNESS IS FINDING YOURSELF IN CHAOS! OUT out CHAOS we born and only through CHAOS will we get back to the middle! Enjoy my EARTHDAY!

It's that time of year again! Hey you guys, I hope these past nine months have added value to your life, enhanced you as a person and gave you something to anticipate about the future! You know how I do! It's my EARTHDAY MONTH Celebration! For those that don’t know I've been celebrating my EARTHDAY a month long for the past TEN years...Yes, if you know me you know why. If you are just getting to know me or you are getting reacquainted with my Journey on this Earth, check out my note it should give you a glimpse of who I am. This year is no different, I love LIFE and every moment that GOD gives me to drive the HATERS crazy, I’m going to do it with a SMILE! LOVE and APPRECIATION can only be found INSIDE, hence this year’s exceptional partnerships.
Allow me to introduce you to “The Lotus Project” and “Girls are not for SALE” for personal reasons these two organizations are near and dear to my heart, and I feel the world should get to know their mission. So what does all this mean? This means I need you to dig into your pockets and share what you have with underprivileged and exploit teenage girls! Can you do that? The Fundraising campaign kicks off OCTOBER 1, 2010...You will have multiple opportunities to donate to these organizations; minimum donation will be $5.00, for every penny I collect my sponsoring corporation 630 Media will donate two pennies...Yes, that’s right! For every $1.00 I collect, 630 Media will match it with $2.00. So, GAME ON family...Last years partnering organization was the Clean Air Foundation, I set a goal and exceeding that goal by 200%, which gives me goose bumps just thinking about this year Campaign. My goal this year… you’ll find that out once your donation has been made!
LET'S make this EARTH MONTH the best yet... I LOVE YOU LIKE GOD LOVES ME…Unconditionally!! Happy EARTHDAY to ME! Let’s go get!

LATE ..not Really!

Friday September 17,2010, I was invited to THE CITY CHURCH to share POETRY with their young adult ministry@ the SPOKEN WORD CAFE! Now, this was different but not really, it was just in a setting that brings in college students and other young adults to give them options to have a different kind of Friday Night! (REMEMBER: AUBURN HAD A HOME GAME...and the place was PACKED!!) Lets just say THE CITY CHURCH in AUBURN, ALABAMA, has found a way to meet the youth of today right where they are without bring the world into the church! How many church's can you say that about? Let's be honest?! I know that is hard for a lot of you because you don't know how to be honest with yourself. Hypothetically, let's say you know what I mean when I say "they have met the youth of today right where they are without bringing the world into the church" Do you know how good it felt to be welcomed into a place with genuine love, no jealousy, no envy, just the love of being brave enough to do and say what GOD tells you to say?! MAN, it was awesome I had fun. Too much fun! I haven't had that much fun since before I first move to Atlanta! Not saying anything about ATL, I just haven't encountered that kind of energy! I really enjoyed being on STAGE again. It was my LIBeRAtion! I AM FINALLY FREE! No longer caged in, I've kicked in the sides of the BOX and DANCED on top of the grave the enemy laid out for me! I now know that SOMEDAY is TODAY! Everyday is a good day to start over! I got a chance to use all these new gadgets I have and I was able to record the entire show, from beginning to end! And as promised it's about two days late, but better late than never! I hope that this blesses you like it has blessed be listening and editing it! This was my first time recording for a podcast so the volume is not what I think it can be but like me this recording thing is a work in progress!

It's Amazing!!

WARNING:everything that's being written is my personal opinion. If you are sensitive to the truth or what is not seen then I advise you to come back next week when I feel like coddling adults)

Normally i sit back and let the gossip fly about what the new hap's in celebrity's life. However, today someone in my friend list on facebook posted something about the latest fiasco with Larry(Laurence)Fishburne and his now 19 year old daughter Montana,whom has decided to enter the PORN industry. So with all of the thoughts of what is required to be in the film and the many rumored (true) lies about men sleep with men to get major film rolls and women sleeping with men and women. Who wouldn't just bypass of the bullshit, politics of the industry and say hey, "I like to Fuck, but under my circumstances" and before I have you blackmailing me with the things I desire to keep private; I'll just let the world know who I am upfront! Does that sound about right? So when she does take the plunge into small and big scene films there won't be any mistakes about who she is. I am pretty sure she is not thinking along those lines because she doesn't have too. She is Montana Fishburne after all, the daughter of Mega film star Laurence Fishburne, why would she have to think like that, this porn film is awesome to her little 19 year old mind. She has no idea in two days, she'll be called every name under the sun except the one her father gave her. So, yes Laurence is taking action and putting his foot down..."you embarrassed me". Why and how did she embarrass him? I'm glad that you asked. What if all the rumors are true? What if every black person that has gone to Hollywood both male/female had to sleep with the director of the film or had to sleep with the Major person in their genre? What if everything that has been said through-out the years are true!? What now? I'll reference it being like a person growing up in the south who's parents were very active in the civil rights movement. They fought for equal rights and opportunity, struggle hard and took things from people, and did things they did not want to do, knowing it would make a better future for their children. Then one day they're oldest child comes home and announces that she is going to the UNIVERSITY of ALABAMA when she got a full ride to TUSKEGEE University! Really! Wheredeydothatat? Are you following? Laurence Fishburne has already paid his dues, several times, he changed name, remember in "cornbread, earl and me" his name was Larry, he had to lose weight to be in "What's love got to do with it" and then he had to turn right around and gain all of the weight back plus some for the matrix, not to mention the rumored "casting couches" he's sat on. So, yes MONTANA, you have embarrassed your father and you should take your bright and eager mind to him and apologize, beg for forgiveness, take a trip overseas get your mind right, return in a year to enroll in a school in the MIDWEST somewhere. I mean you have the world of possibilities at your finger tips and you like so many other youth are trying to be like the trash you see on TV! MOST of the people on TV with the exception of the generational kids(paltrow, diaz, etc) are first generation, meaning they were picked from a line-up because they look like they would do anything to get rich? IS THAT YOU? Stop this madness. Let's collectively refocused our minds on the works of the MOST HIGH GOD! not this random confusion you see in front of you everyday. GOD works in the unseen.

Yet, like so many young girls Montana is not the only one. She just made news because no one would have ever thought that Laurence Fishburne's daughter would want to be a porn star, we gotta stop raising our kids "white" and start raising them right. the bible term goes "spare the rod spoil a child" In literal Shaunteka translation..."Spare the rod you hate your child" If you don't love them enough to correct them you don't love the enough to save them... SAFETY comes in CORRECTION at HOME!!!